Let's talk about the familiar, hmm?

There's something incredibly comfortable about the familiar. Those routines and schedules and orders in which we do things. I crave my routines: putting the conditioner in my hair and soaping around while waiting for the "aloe and pomegranate extracts" to set in; putting the milk in my large cup before the coffee; running after work; reading before bed; naps on Sundays; and dinner at 6:00.

I'll admit, I'm totally a creature of habit. Sometimes (usually?) to my own detriment. And I have no idea why I'm like this.

Well, no, that's a lie. I do know why I'm like this. Mama y papa come to mind--two lovely individuals who have sat in the same seat at church for the last 20 years. I know they account for some of my neurosis. The other misfit bits and pieces? Who knows... But whatever the origins, these habits stop me from trying things I otherwise should.

Susie and I gots to talking about this last night, and while I won't speak for her, I know I for one am in a bit of rut. Same old, same old. Bad habits, if you will, that need serious cleaning up. Problem being, I'm not too sure where to begin.

Part of me is a wee bit scared of what I don't know. Part of me is nervous I won't fit wherever it is I feel I need to be. Part of me just plain doesn't think the change will help--that whatever it is I'm waiting for while find me on its own.

Part of me is kinda excited.

Part of me knows I need this.

Part of me is still a sucker for the routine.

But now I'm babbling.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll wait for a sign. Until then, maybe I'll just make my lunch for tomorrow and put on Pride and Prejudice and... Good god, and I wonder why I'm in a FARKING RUT?!